What went wrong...

At a certain point in your life, you'd begin to realize that what you wanted before may not be what you wanted now...it may be a thing, a dream, a place or a person... We try to deny the urge or the realization for fear that we may loose this feeling of comfort but honestly, tension will just build up and the point of breaking will eventually take its toll. I for instance had encountered this with my-not-so-recent relationship with mike...

I don't really know how to start this one because it may sound uncaring. I admit that I loved him, with all my heart, with all my mind. But as I tried to get to know him for years, I could not fully accept the "real" him: that is, the fact that he does not commit openly to our relationship and not having the ambition to go for the better things in life. I am not materialistic. I do not impose things on him like gifts or presents. All I really wanted was for us to make it to the next level. As immature as he is, he doesnt get that. It may look that it is not important to him as it was to me and thinks that everything we have is just ok. How can everything be ok when the guy lives in another island and we do spend "quality" time by merely speaking for hours on the phone??No one is talking about moving and having plans to be "near" to each other and this makes me really sick because technically, what we have on the phone doesnt count as "real" relationship. Another thing is his lack of ambition in life. Whenever I ask him what's his plans for the future he'll just laugh and say that he'll just stick to his small business until it will become better. Who is he kidding?Will he just wait and see things happen or rather do something about it? I cannot go on like this... I couldnt tolerate immature, ambition-less guy, who always cry out to his mother or ate/kuya whenever something as minor as printer problems pop out once in a while. I know family is family but to seek consult even to the tiniest details of your life is such a cowardly act, a sign of immaturity.

As for my feelings for him, well...they are feelings. I love him and would like to help him see things through but all my efforts are gone to waste because he doesnt seem to see the problem. Thats why I havent talked to him in 2 months, without formal and proper goodbye bcoz I am simply irritated. I'm fed up acting the older one when in fact he's 9 yrs my senior and should be the more responsible one.

In one of our text banter he said, "You changed", my reaction was, "No i havent, you simply dont know me that well".